DISCLAIMER: I'm new and also I don't speak German fluently enough to be able to share with you what I'd like. I'm bilingual so this is hard enough for me too. I hope I'm forgiven for writing in English and if it's not okay I accept anyone's future help for translating my posts in German.
To anyone who reads. This is kind of an open letter. Sharing experience, knowledge and wisdom. I've chosen to follow the Pagan path since I was 16. I've always, always been not just drawn to Odinism in particular, but all of my real encounters with the realm of the mystical have been solely from Nordic origins. Only using runes, unlike other methods, ever worked to produce real results (a single of many examples in my life). I don't remember what year it was but I remember when it happened - the moment I was all of a sudden able to see places far out of my reach, in my minds eye. With detail and truth to it which was weird. I've had friends ask me what their boy crush is doing and I just imitated what I thought I saw as a glimpse - turned out to be creepy accurate. But then I started seeing the spirit realm. I started seeing guides. At first it was their eyes. Then I could see them from head to toe. I could talk to them and with them. Every time I met somebody I could see their spirit guides. Most of them look human- like to me. Some were not happy to see me.. Maybe not okay with seeing them, or just didn't like me interacting with the people they were attached to. Maybe I was hallucinating, either way it was weird. Ive been suppressing these so called powers for three- four years now because life happens and you need to be connected with the work around you, but I keep coming back to who I truly am and it suffocated me to not be myself, be all alone. Here maybe I could find my kin. Anyways the story is this - I saw Odin. It was the weirdest experience ever. Just like all the rest it came into a flash, unexpectedly as I was just in my room at the time and pasing back and forth, I was thinking about a pagan solstice dance I could maybe do to honor the upcoming spring and my mind was wondering off into Odinism again and I jokingly said to myself - hehe yea what am I thinking, am I crazy, of course He doesn't exist just like the rest of the pagan gods, not any more- and then I connected. My soul peered into the realm and I saw Him. It was a very vibrant, strong, powerful mix of two energies - one was old, ancient, wise and almost cloudy, dark, surrounding something very bright and new inside, a rebirth. Long story short I was breathless. I spoke and He replied. Let me tell you He is wise and scary as heck. Told me He was being reborn as there are people who started believing in him once again. Unlike the other gods he wasn't gone. He.. I don't know. I tried acting casual, talking like I would to one of you, but I quickly was placed in my place. I realized I could never disrespect Him like that again and after I tried speaking like a friend once or twice more I was kind of ignored. Kind of on the - speak to me only whe you really have something to say, and use respectful words- list and yea.. I only had one request so far and it was fulfilled. The rest was done by my runes when it came to requesting for wishes and dreams.
Take what you may from this story, I've been keeping it a silent secret for only myself for years now and honestly I gain nothing from sharing this apart from maybe you laughing at me. I'm nothing more than just a random girl from another country, but.. I finally get to feel and be myself even if for just 5 minutes. Unburdening and sharing my secret experiences amongst a community that can maybe feel like family was always my dream. It'd be nice if I can truly deeply be free here.